when it rains, it pours..

Today the sun was shining. And it was pouring down rain. Sounds a lot like my life.
I'm feeling a lot like a failure right now.. Ive gained back 10 lbs out of the 35 that i had lost. How am I allowing myself to do this!?!? Its sooo frustrating! But i cant stop eating JUNK! I need help. Support. from someone who lives near me & cares enough to push me around. Although, Im not so sure thatd even matter. Im so stubborn and "my way or the highway" that idk if id listen to them anyway.. IM THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN CHANGE MYSELF. And I did. for soooo long. then i just FELL. and hard, too. I didnt even see it coming.
Now im all depressed. I want to puke. my stomach is sick. I cant believe Im doing this to myself. but thats just it. IM doing this. I need to go to bed. ughh... :'(